I am so impressed. The language used here is SO appropriate. I cannot help it, I have succumbed to plagarism.

ALL credit here goes to Tan Yek Keak, the guy who writes the ' soshootme ' WC column at the end of Life section.
I'd give him a standing ovation, except I always read the paper sitting down. lameness unintended.

Here goes.

THE WC DICTIONARY.

Tip: Remember that there are only 26 letters in the alphabet and the last letter is Z. Very rarely would it the letter Z be used, so when you use it twice, it must mean something special.

1) ZIDANE

A " Zidane" means an object that is old and yet shows so much signs of life it becomes new again.
Just like the 5-day-old bread you're supposed to throw away but, mixed with strawberry jam, it's delicious. It's origin is French. Its proper term is actually " Zinedine Zidane ", making it the 2 Zs of special genius status which I referred to earlier.

Usage: " This Zidane is so useful I cannot flush it down the toilet yet. "

2) HENRY

A " Henry " refers to an act of arrogance and pure class that disdains the obvious. It is the opposite of crude and ugly, which some people call a " Hiddink ". Again, its origin, like Zidane, is French. In fact, both Zidane and Henry are symbiotic terms. like our "okay lah". It means that they are often used together.

Usage: " The Zidane I saw in a museum inspired me so much I think I can do a Henry in my art class. "

3) RONALDO

This is one of those rare words with different meanings , depending on the country of its origin.
If you take the Brazillian version, it means "fat person" as in

"Eat too much and you'll become a Ronaldo. "

Using it in its Portuguese context, however, it means "betrayal" or "traitor", usually referring to somebody who stabs a friend in the face by behaving unsportingly. The original term for this was Cristiano Ronaldo, but it has since been shortened over time to just Ronaldo. Historically, the English harldy use this word though. They already have an equivalent- "Bast**rd" .

Usage (Portuguese vers) : " I will kill you for that Ronaldo you did to me in front of the boss just now! "

4) BECKHAM

A "Beckham" is a true English. It's a word that can even bring tears to a glass eye beacause its origin is so touching.
A nong( sorry can't help it!) time ago, there was an English prince , very handsome, not too bright, happily married to a queen of shopping, who was very emotional whenever he fought for England. This prince cried very often because evrytime he put on his battle gear, he got all choked up. This story has been used to inspire school children throughout the ages.

Usage: " You are so patriotic. One day you''l be the Beckham of Singapore. "

5) ERIKSSON

Again, this is an unusual word because it can be used in so many ways. It is such a versatile word that people have used it to describe a depressing feeling, a hopeless state of mind, a terrible medical condition, a sense of impotence and a sence of no importance. In fact, as I write this, there are uses still not invented for it yet.

Usage ( as a description for "boring") : " I fell asleep in class to today because Mrs Tan gave an Eriksson. "

Usage( as an epithet *An abusive or contemptuous word or phrase*) : " Get away from me! Erik***n you! "

Deserving of a pulitzer prize. Til next time.
Eriksson out!