you know, I've moved on.

perhaps this year is a beginning.

of redemption, of renewals, of reassurance, of confidence, of lost opportunities, for me.

this period feels like sometime last year, when i was raw, fresh, optimistic, releasing the social butterfly in me. But butterflies, as we all know have lifespans not longer than a fortnight.

Then reality and mundane monsters come invading into your mind, body and soul yet again.

I feel renewed, but yet a part in there that's rather jaded- much owing to the fact that there's this foreboding sense of what's to come later in the year.

Let's hope the foreshadow is but a shadow.

cheers,

nicki

dreamy soundscapes are so soothing.

man it's been forNEVER since i posted something decent around here that made proper sense.
So since today was pretty productive as a study session. I am eversodetermined to make everything i do today productive.

OKAY SO THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SPONTANEOUSLY INSPIRED POST, but my dad just had to come at the right moment to say :
MY TURN.

LOVE YOU DAD.

when I talk to my friends I pretend I am standing on the wings   

of a flying plane. I cannot be trusted to tell them how I am.  

Or if I am falling to earth weighing less   

than a dozen roses. Sometimes I dream they have broken up   

with their lovers and are carrying food to my house.  

When I open the mailbox I hear their voices   

like the long upward-winding curve of a train whistle

passing through the tall grasses and ferns  

after the train has passed. I never get ahead of their shadows.   

I embrace them in front of moving cars. I keep them away   

from my miseries because to say I am miserable is to say I am like them. 

- How I am

  Jason Shinder

Hayley's voice was made for this.

FOUND A GEM TODAY.

The only reason I'm posting is cos I realized the "I was never on the Pill" father's day postsecret is not really the best first impression to give to ppl who stumble upon here.
Just tryna push the post down. yes yes.

Now that that's done.

JC is just helluva place to be right now. Have I lost track of where I'm at, supposed to be, want to go?
I think so. Not good.
At least i'm awake now.

Sometimes I think I'm a pretentious fck, which of course I dread to be. Other times, I just can't be bothered, which I hate to be.
Most times, I'm just going through the motions, which I don't have a choice, otherwise I wouldn't be.

What happened to the wit, humour and sarcasm? Dunno, trying hard, too hard maybe.

I realise I blog about immaterial, intangible, hypothetical, cryptic things that throws people, myself included, off course.

Am I jaded? Oh dang.

Incidentally i should be a mad mugger right now.
Tata.
Nic

[afterthought: just realised I sound totally schizophrenic, need to make more sense.morsense.nonsense]